THREE PERSONAL VICTORIES
VICTORY #1: GOING TO CHINA
How is this a victory, you might ask? Well, I'm absolutely terrified of flying, and I had never traveled alone before in my life. I tend to get lost a lot. I guess the closest I'd come to flying anywhere by myself was the time that I got really lost driving and ended up getting stuck doing several laps around O'Hare airport (which, by the way, was nowhere near my intended destination) because I couldn't figure out how I'd gotten into the airport parking lot and also couldn't figure out how to get out.
And I can't say that things exactly went smoothly. My flight was delayed an hour in taking off and an hour in landing. So, already arriving in Beijing two hours late, I was horrified to find out that none of the baggage carousels said anything about a flight from Seattle. After about 20 minutes passed, I tried to ask an airline employee about my flight, but she understood little English and only spoke enough to convey that this was where I wait for the baggage. In an attempt to keep my sanity, I stared at an advertisement for Yanjing beer that showed Chinese astronauts, in their spacesuits, enjoying a bottle of Yanjing. Maybe this was my type of country, after all.
Finally, FINALLY, my baggage came through (even though the sign above the carousel indicated that it was coming from Eastern Europe), and then I was free to wander out of the baggage claim area into the vast confusion that is the Beijing airport. At first my eyes just darted around wildly, but luckily after just a few minutes I saw a girl in a turquoise sweater sprinting toward me. And that's when I knew I'd made it, I could finally hug the sister I hadn't seen in nine months, and after 30 hours of travel and terror I could finally just relax. I think a loud sob escaped me as I threw my arms around her and let my blood pressure start to return to its normal state.
There were a lot more adventures to be had in China, of course. Temples, palaces, hutongs, an awesome morning hiking at the Great Wall, and even a trip to the Beijing Hooters.
But that exhausted, relieved, joyous moment when I first hugged my sister was probably the best of all.
VICTORY #2: DIAGNOSIS- BENIGN
Around Thanksgiving this year, I found out that I had a 2-inch tumor in my left breast.
Imagine the following situation. You're lying on your back, shirtless, on a table, as a doctor and two nurses perform a biopsy. You're numbed but you're awake, and you're trying so hard to scrutinize their faces. Staring at them so intensely you feel you could burn a hole through their skin. Are they frowning? WHY ARE THEY FROWNING? Even though they won't tell you anything until the results come back, of course, they must know something, they must be able to tell what it looks like...
Then, afterwards, as they're applying pressure to the incision and cleaning the area up, all of a sudden, one of the nurses freezes. Stares down at your breast and asks, "What is THAT?"
The other nurse's eyes widen. "I don't know. What IS that?"
At this moment, your heart pretty much stops. You were already so tuned into their facial expressions that now you have lost any sense of reassurance you might have had previously and your mind is spiraling out of control. Somehow, your medical condition has baffled even the professionals. You have fleeting images of being the first one to start a The Stand-esque superplague. Maybe you shouldn't have watched that miniseries twice. In fact, you really shouldn't have, because it kind of sucks.
"It's.... glitter." The tension goes out of the nurses' voices, and you realize you don't have the superplague, yet. She removes the offending sequin.
This was kind of a personal victory for my boyfriend against my sequined shirt. I think the shirt is cute and fun. He groans loudly every time I wear it to his apartment, because he knows he'll be picking mini-sequins off his couch for a week.
A week later, my results came back, showing the tumor was benign.
A month later, the shirt is still untouched on my floor. I don't know if I'll ever be able to wear it again.
VICTORY #3: EVERCLEAR PLAYS YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WHORE
A couple months ago, I went with Mollie, Keith, Mouse, and Chris to "rock out like it's 1999" at the Eve 6 and Everclear concert. The reason I went was to hear Everclear play one of my favorite songs, "You Make Me Feel Like a Whore."
This song never got nearly enough radio play. When Mollie and Rachel used to DJ their college radio station on Monday nights, I would set aside time every Monday night to contact the station and request "You Make Me Feel Like a Whore." Sometimes not even framing my request in a full sentence and just saying the title of the song, which, if they didn't know me, they might have found confusing.
I didn't know if Everclear would deliver, or if they would let me down. I'm getting really used to being let down by bands I've loved for a long time, and I wouldn't even say I ever loved Everclear, just that song.
For example (BEGIN UNRELATED STORY), 2012 was the year that my Green Day fanship finally ended.
I'd stuck by Green Day through a LOT. So why did I stop being a Green Day fan? Was it because they cancelled the concert I'd already bought tickets to? Was it that footage of Billie Joe puking onstage at the end of "Jesus of Suburbia?"
No. It was this video.
I can hear you now. "Do you really hate Twilight that much? What's wrong with Twilight?" Whether or not I hate Twilight is not the point. The point is, this is not Green Day. Like, imagine a punk band that has been around since the early 90's, has built up an impressive punk music loving fan base, and has always had a kind of independent, rebellious, I-don't-give-a-damn attitude that even works now that they're in their late 30's.
Then, suppose that band announces they're inviting the latest teen pop sensation (think Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift) to be their new permanent fourth member, and she's going to write some of their songs and choreograph their music videos.
It's like if the man you'd loved for several years suddenly revealed that he was really just a monkey in a man suit. I don't know them anymore.
(END UNRELATED STORY)
So, I was prepared to be betrayed by Everclear as well, and it sure looked like they were gonna betray me. Probably ten different times, the lead singer would bellow, "WE GOT SOME SPARKLE AND FADE FANS OUT THERE? LET'S PLAY A SONG FROM SPARKLE AND FADE!" And my heart would soar... and they'd play something... else. And I'd despair, because by the end of the concert I was thinking they'd played every single song off Sparkle and Fade EXCEPT "You Make Me Feel Like a Whore." What was this? The Sparkle and Fade tour?
But then... on the last song before the obligatory encore... when my legs were killing me and my eardrums were starting to hurt... the beautiful moment happened. And I threw up my rawk fist. And I sang at the top of my lungs. And I felt like a whore. Oh yes. I did.
THREE MUSIC VIDEOS THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY
(After all, you need to recover from the one I posted above)
VIDEO #1: PLEASE DO NOT WATCH PAST THE FIRST VERSE
I want to say first of all that this is a terrible song. It annoys me to no end. When I hear it on the radio I usually emit an agonized howl as my fist slams into the tuning button to kill it as quickly as possible.
But the first time I saw the music video, it made me happy. Because I think I'm cooler than the guy from Owl City. And you probably are too. I mean, just watch the first verse where he's singing. Have you ever seen a guy look so uncomfortable in his own skin? Have you ever heard someone sound so awkward when saying, with almost painful enunciation, the words, "I'm in if you're down to get down tonight?"
Now, he might be having a good time, but he sure don't look like it. And for someone who gets told enough that she looks tired or bored or sad or angry, I shouldn't make fun of the lack of fun it looks like he's having, but, I'm going to.
Obviously I'm not a Train fan either. But they play this video at the gym all the time, and it always makes me chuckle and forget that I'm on the treadmill.
This video is pure joy. It's finally helped me overcome the crippling yeti-phobia I've had ever since I watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as a very young child and it gave me nightmares.
In case you didn't like the music videos above and need a drink, I'm going to share three beers I discovered for the first time this year that I think are worth a try.
1) GREEN LINE (Goose Island)
This is the most widely available beer of the three I'm going to mention--you can find it anywhere that has a sizeable beer tap--and it's a beer I'd recommend to pretty much anyone. That's because it simultaneously tastes like a light beer and an IPA, with even a hint of fruitiness. It's like a light IPA. And it's right up there with Blue Moon as far as my favorite non-obscure beers go.
2) ZOMBIE DUST (Three Floyds)
Like its delicious cousin Alpha King, this beer has just the right amount of hops, but it lacks Alpha King's citrusy notes, making the hops seem more powerful. And the picture on the outside of the bottle is pretty sweet, too.
3) GOLDEN MONKEY (Victory)
As you'd guess from the name, this beer is a beautiful golden color. It's light, smooth, and drinkable (maybe a little bit too drinkable) with a unique, mildly spicy flavor. The reason I say maybe a bit too drinkable is that this beer is deceptively strong... so proceed with caution.
BOOK OF THE YEAR: SONG OF ICE AND FIRE SERIES
When I went to China, I didn't really want to pack books, so I borrowed a friend's Kindle. He was kind enough to load some books he thought I'd like onto it, including the entire Song of Ice and Fire series. So, sitting at O'Hare awaiting my flight from Chicago to Seattle, I started reading Game of Thrones.
I didn't stop reading until six hours later when the plane landed in Seattle. And that's when I realized that the Kindle battery was almost dead... I was only 1/4 of the way through Game of Thrones... and I still had the 12-hour flight from Seattle to Beijing ahead of me.
Now, if you've read this post from the beginning, a) I'm amazed and b) you know I have problems traveling/navigating by myself. So, as I stumbled into the Seattle airport, trying to follow people who looked Chinese, I was being consumed by two fears: that I would not make my connecting flight, and that I would not find out what happened to the Stark family. I had to make a decision. Continue following Chinese-esque people in hopes of finding someone who would point me in the right direction, or stop at bookstore and load up on overpriced Game of Thrones books.
You can guess what I did. This actually led to even more panic, because it took a long time to find those books. I had to ask the clerk, who barely spoke English, and they were under scifi (which was separate from fantasy... what the heck?). I bought the first two books, then took off sprinting while weeping hysterically through the airport, because I thought I was running out of time. I didn't realize my flight would be delayed an hour. But you already knew that, if you've been reading from the beginning of this post (and again, if you have, I'm really amazed).
You may have seen the TV series, but I never had, and I thoroughly enjoyed the books. Pretty soon I had my mom and my sister reading them too so that we could bond over them. Occasionally we'll send each other texts that simply say "Hodor." So now, if you ever get one of those texts by accident, I know you'll understand.
MOVIE OF THE YEAR: CABIN IN THE WOODS
I won't tell you too much about Cabin in the Woods, because much of the joy of this movie comes from not knowing what to expect. But just know that this movie is like every single novel my sister and I ever tried to write together (which, to be fair, is only about two). So, now that I've seen Cabin in the Woods, I can now say that my life's work is done (and way better than I probably would have done it, too).
SONG OF THE YEAR: NO APOLOGIES
Calling this song a song is underselling it. This wondrous anthem stirs every emotion I have.
I couldn't find a good music video for it. There's a "real" music video but the acting in it is super crappy, and then there's this other video that's like plugging Sugar Red Drive merchandise, and I decided the crappy acting one was worse, so I'm posting the other one, because it's not like they're total sellouts, it's not like they're Green Day or anything. Besides, the point is not to watch the video but to hear the beautiful beautiful song, and I don't want to hear any of your "what is this misogynist Nickelbacky crap" comments because this song is the best thing to happen to anyone ever and taught me to love life again. So, on this note...
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