Those of you who have read my blogs in the past know that I love nothing more than criticizing (not critiquing, I think criticizing would be more accurate) music in the most colorful terms I can come up with—and the most merciless. You also know that my musical taste doesn’t cover a very wide range. I usually define it as “mainstream rock music from 1994 and afterwards.” To say I’m a music nazi would be a fair assessment… well, ALMOST fair.
Believe it or not, there are some vulnerable points in my otherwise impenetrable exoskeleton of rock music love, formed and solidified by many years of listening to Q101 religiously. Once in a while, inexplicably, a song or artist finds one of these soft spots, breaks through the barrier of my closed mind, and finds a home in my mp3 player and my heart (they’re pretty much the same thing).
Those of you who know me well already know that I like these songs. I may have even made you listen to them multiple times. Sorry about that (not really). And for the rest of you… I am now opening myself up to your ridicule as I come out of the I-like-bad-music closet. But I would hope that rather than ridiculing, you would share some of your own guilty music pleasures. And we can sympathize and bond and become better people.
SONGS THAT MAKE MOST PEOPLE WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE
1) SIMPLE PLAN. “I’M JUST A KID.”
Nobody cares that I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight.
Mention Simple Plan to most people and they’ll look at you like you just confessed you love eating your own belly button lint. This band is a part of our childhoods that we don’t want to remember. We’ve gotten over it, we’ve grown up, we’ve escaped.
But apparently I haven’t blocked that era out completely, because this song is still my anthem. Few things in life bring me as much pure giddy joy as belting it at the top of my lungs. And if that’s something I have to sacrifice in order to join the adult world, well, I guess I’ll be just a kid forever.
Nobody cares that I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight.
Mention Simple Plan to most people and they’ll look at you like you just confessed you love eating your own belly button lint. This band is a part of our childhoods that we don’t want to remember. We’ve gotten over it, we’ve grown up, we’ve escaped.
But apparently I haven’t blocked that era out completely, because this song is still my anthem. Few things in life bring me as much pure giddy joy as belting it at the top of my lungs. And if that’s something I have to sacrifice in order to join the adult world, well, I guess I’ll be just a kid forever.
2) SUGAR RED DRIVE. “NO APOLOGIES.”
I’m a creep and that’s just me. I offer no apologies.
But Mandie, WHY do you like this song? It’s by some virtually unknown band that sounds like Saving Abel. There’s nothing too special about the melody. And the lyrics make women sound like helpless doormats and make men sound like *****ing *******bags. It’s enough to ignite the fury of anyone of any gender.
You know, I don’t really have any idea why I love this song, but I do. I could listen to it all day. I’m kind of sad that its time of radio play was brief, and that my petition to launch a new All No Apologies All The Time radio station has not gained a whole lot of support (contact me if you wish to sign it or contribute to my upcoming fundraising event). So, if anyone out there loves me and ever wants to phone in a song request to a radio station, be sure to dedicate this one to me. (Seriously. Because if you dedicate this song to anyone else, I promise you will owe them a whole LOT of apologies.)
I’m a creep and that’s just me. I offer no apologies.
But Mandie, WHY do you like this song? It’s by some virtually unknown band that sounds like Saving Abel. There’s nothing too special about the melody. And the lyrics make women sound like helpless doormats and make men sound like *****ing *******bags. It’s enough to ignite the fury of anyone of any gender.
You know, I don’t really have any idea why I love this song, but I do. I could listen to it all day. I’m kind of sad that its time of radio play was brief, and that my petition to launch a new All No Apologies All The Time radio station has not gained a whole lot of support (contact me if you wish to sign it or contribute to my upcoming fundraising event). So, if anyone out there loves me and ever wants to phone in a song request to a radio station, be sure to dedicate this one to me. (Seriously. Because if you dedicate this song to anyone else, I promise you will owe them a whole LOT of apologies.)
SONGS THAT I USED TO HATE BUT I NOW PLAY ON REPEAT
3) HOOBASTANK. “OUT OF CONTROL.”
And I may never know the answer to this endless mystery.
When I was eighteen-year-old and hopelessly smitten with the voice of the lead singer of Hoobastank, I built up some powerful leg muscles by sprinting across my room to press the Skip button on my CD player whenever this song started. I couldn’t stand the way that the lead singer mangled his beautiful voice during the break when he said “I’MSPINNINOUTOFCONTROL, OUTOFCONTROL.” It was too weak to be a scream and sounded either like he had failed horribly at trying to be badass or like he was purposely trying to annoy his fans due to some kind of sadistic whim.
While my Out of Control sprints were probably good practice for track and also gave my skip-button-pushing finger a workout, I admit now that I judged this song prematurely. Other than those couple of semi-screamed lines, this song has the same not-The-Reason Hoobastank sound that I still enjoy to this day. And so I’ve given Out of Control a second chance, and fittingly, I usually listen to it while running.
And I may never know the answer to this endless mystery.
When I was eighteen-year-old and hopelessly smitten with the voice of the lead singer of Hoobastank, I built up some powerful leg muscles by sprinting across my room to press the Skip button on my CD player whenever this song started. I couldn’t stand the way that the lead singer mangled his beautiful voice during the break when he said “I’MSPINNINOUTOFCONTROL, OUTOFCONTROL.” It was too weak to be a scream and sounded either like he had failed horribly at trying to be badass or like he was purposely trying to annoy his fans due to some kind of sadistic whim.
While my Out of Control sprints were probably good practice for track and also gave my skip-button-pushing finger a workout, I admit now that I judged this song prematurely. Other than those couple of semi-screamed lines, this song has the same not-The-Reason Hoobastank sound that I still enjoy to this day. And so I’ve given Out of Control a second chance, and fittingly, I usually listen to it while running.
4) LUDO. “THE HORROR OF OUR LOVE.”
Never so much blood poured through my veins.
I remember buying the awesomely quirky album “You’re Awful, I Love You,” copying it onto my computer, and listening to it in its entirety for the first time. When it got to this song, a gentle-sounding Gothic ode to stalking and cannibalism, I decided this one was a little TOO quirky for me. I felt a little creepier just for having it on my computer, and I deleted it without giving it a second play.
However, as years went by, I could feel this song beckoning to me from the ghost-filled realm of my computer’s recycle bin. Give in to your Gothic cannibalistic stalker side, Mandie. You can’t deny your true nature. And so, somewhat hesitantly, I welcomed the horror of Ludo back into my life. And I found the song seductive, epic, and hawt. I can’t understand why I wrote it off so quickly in the first place. I mean, how could a love song with the opening lyric “I’m a killer, cold and wrathful” possibly be bad?
Never so much blood poured through my veins.
I remember buying the awesomely quirky album “You’re Awful, I Love You,” copying it onto my computer, and listening to it in its entirety for the first time. When it got to this song, a gentle-sounding Gothic ode to stalking and cannibalism, I decided this one was a little TOO quirky for me. I felt a little creepier just for having it on my computer, and I deleted it without giving it a second play.
However, as years went by, I could feel this song beckoning to me from the ghost-filled realm of my computer’s recycle bin. Give in to your Gothic cannibalistic stalker side, Mandie. You can’t deny your true nature. And so, somewhat hesitantly, I welcomed the horror of Ludo back into my life. And I found the song seductive, epic, and hawt. I can’t understand why I wrote it off so quickly in the first place. I mean, how could a love song with the opening lyric “I’m a killer, cold and wrathful” possibly be bad?
SONGS AND ARTISTS THAT ARE NOT PART OF MY HALLOWED GENRE
5) AWOL NATION. “NOT YOUR FAULT.”
She’s a ten, I’m a joke in my own mind. But she still loves to dance with my punch lines.
In general, I am not a fan of the indie-ish alternative rock music that seems to be taking over the world lately—but I’ve never really been a fan of the less rock-ish rock. Some people say this indicates immaturity in my musical tastes, but give me Disturbed or Breaking Benjamin over Jane’s Addiction or the White Stripes any day. Now, with Foster the People and the Black Keys topping the rock charts, I’m wondering if we need to revise the definition of rock completely.
It seems, therefore, that I would totally hate this song. It’s by a band that I would definitely call part of the new wave (potentially, part of the death) of rock, it has lyrics that make no sense, the melody is virtually nonexistent, and that’s probably a good thing because the singer can’t sing.
However, I love the music video. Those three and a half minutes of funtastical joy do wonders for the morale of my workout every time they play it at the gym. I love the music video so much that my love has carried over to the song. It’s a terrible song, but it’s fun. And who would have thought that the band that cursed us with “Sail” could ever produce anything fun?
She’s a ten, I’m a joke in my own mind. But she still loves to dance with my punch lines.
In general, I am not a fan of the indie-ish alternative rock music that seems to be taking over the world lately—but I’ve never really been a fan of the less rock-ish rock. Some people say this indicates immaturity in my musical tastes, but give me Disturbed or Breaking Benjamin over Jane’s Addiction or the White Stripes any day. Now, with Foster the People and the Black Keys topping the rock charts, I’m wondering if we need to revise the definition of rock completely.
It seems, therefore, that I would totally hate this song. It’s by a band that I would definitely call part of the new wave (potentially, part of the death) of rock, it has lyrics that make no sense, the melody is virtually nonexistent, and that’s probably a good thing because the singer can’t sing.
However, I love the music video. Those three and a half minutes of funtastical joy do wonders for the morale of my workout every time they play it at the gym. I love the music video so much that my love has carried over to the song. It’s a terrible song, but it’s fun. And who would have thought that the band that cursed us with “Sail” could ever produce anything fun?
6) FAITH HILL. “CRY.”
I don’t want pity, I just want what is mine.
My driver’s ed instructor played nothing but country during my behind the wheel training. I credit my terrible driving skills to this forced torture. However, there was one song I encountered on the country station that really spoke to me. I think this song speaks to anyone dealing with the raw frustration of having been dumped by someone who just doesn’t seem to care. It just doesn’t make SENSE that the guy isn’t hurting from the breakup, and she’s begging for him to show some kind of emotion, even fake emotion, to put her mind at ease. However, I fear her plea is completely in vain, because the guy she’s singing to is probably someone along the lines of the singer in my next pick.
I don’t want pity, I just want what is mine.
My driver’s ed instructor played nothing but country during my behind the wheel training. I credit my terrible driving skills to this forced torture. However, there was one song I encountered on the country station that really spoke to me. I think this song speaks to anyone dealing with the raw frustration of having been dumped by someone who just doesn’t seem to care. It just doesn’t make SENSE that the guy isn’t hurting from the breakup, and she’s begging for him to show some kind of emotion, even fake emotion, to put her mind at ease. However, I fear her plea is completely in vain, because the guy she’s singing to is probably someone along the lines of the singer in my next pick.
7) DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE. “SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE LOVED.”
I cannot pretend I felt any regret, because each broken heart will eventually mend.
I should preface this by saying that I really hate Death Cab for Cutie. This is the only song of theirs that I do not hate to the point of actually tasting bile every time I hear or even think about it. That’s because I think this song can be used as a form of therapy. This is the straightforward and ice-cold response to song #6. “Yes, I unexpectedly left you and I’m never coming back. But it was the right thing to do, because, the funny thing is, I never loved you at all. But someday someone will, so just try to pretend I never existed. Don’t worry. It’s not like you’re going to cry forever.”
So, my recommendation for anyone who’s feeling like the singer in #6 is, listen to #7. This will give you the dose of reality you need to move past it.
And if that doesn’t work, you can always listen to song #2. Or, at least you'll always be able to listen to it once a certain radio station comes into existence.
I cannot pretend I felt any regret, because each broken heart will eventually mend.
I should preface this by saying that I really hate Death Cab for Cutie. This is the only song of theirs that I do not hate to the point of actually tasting bile every time I hear or even think about it. That’s because I think this song can be used as a form of therapy. This is the straightforward and ice-cold response to song #6. “Yes, I unexpectedly left you and I’m never coming back. But it was the right thing to do, because, the funny thing is, I never loved you at all. But someday someone will, so just try to pretend I never existed. Don’t worry. It’s not like you’re going to cry forever.”
So, my recommendation for anyone who’s feeling like the singer in #6 is, listen to #7. This will give you the dose of reality you need to move past it.
And if that doesn’t work, you can always listen to song #2. Or, at least you'll always be able to listen to it once a certain radio station comes into existence.
8) *SOME* PINK SONGS
I don’t want to be the girl who laughs the loudest, or the girl who never wants to be alone.
Most Pink songs will never make it on my playlists. It’s just not my type of music at all. However, I appreciate the songs where she sympathizes with, maybe even becomes the patron saint of, girls who have messed up once or twice or more or constantly and are painfully aware of it. I’ve found comfort in the song “Sober” before, and was surprisingly moved by the music video for “F***ing Perfect” when I saw it at a KTV place in China.
Just don’t expect me to buy one of her albums any time soon.
I don’t want to be the girl who laughs the loudest, or the girl who never wants to be alone.
Most Pink songs will never make it on my playlists. It’s just not my type of music at all. However, I appreciate the songs where she sympathizes with, maybe even becomes the patron saint of, girls who have messed up once or twice or more or constantly and are painfully aware of it. I’ve found comfort in the song “Sober” before, and was surprisingly moved by the music video for “F***ing Perfect” when I saw it at a KTV place in China.
Just don’t expect me to buy one of her albums any time soon.
9) *OLD* LADY GAGA SONGS
Random gibberish
I didn’t realize that I actually appreciated the older Lady Gaga singles until the airwaves were afflicted with her new stuff. I mean, songs like “Poker Face,” “Bad Romance,” and “Poparazzi” may not have been award-worthy, but they were fun, they were unique, and the music videos were awesome. I’m not sure why she transitioned from doing songs like these to doing utterly generic and boring songs like “Edge of Glory” and “You and I.” Yes, her new stuff shows off her pipes a little more, but ANYONE could sing these songs.
Even though I don’t listen to pop music, I do appreciate the bizarre, and I was kind of happy when someone weird came onto the scene and promised to only get weirder. I’m disappointed she did the opposite. And my dad probably feels the same way. I’ve heard him plunking out the chorus of “Bad Romance” on our family’s keyboard a couple times when he thought no one was around.
Random gibberish
I didn’t realize that I actually appreciated the older Lady Gaga singles until the airwaves were afflicted with her new stuff. I mean, songs like “Poker Face,” “Bad Romance,” and “Poparazzi” may not have been award-worthy, but they were fun, they were unique, and the music videos were awesome. I’m not sure why she transitioned from doing songs like these to doing utterly generic and boring songs like “Edge of Glory” and “You and I.” Yes, her new stuff shows off her pipes a little more, but ANYONE could sing these songs.
Even though I don’t listen to pop music, I do appreciate the bizarre, and I was kind of happy when someone weird came onto the scene and promised to only get weirder. I’m disappointed she did the opposite. And my dad probably feels the same way. I’ve heard him plunking out the chorus of “Bad Romance” on our family’s keyboard a couple times when he thought no one was around.
10) LIFEHOUSE
It shouldn’t be hard to believe, shouldn’t be this difficult to breathe. The sky is falling and no one knows.
Most people are really surprised to hear I like Lifehouse. But that’s because all most people know of this band are their upbeat pop singles about love. However, I’ve been following this band from the beginning, and there’s a surprising amount of depth in the songs that never made it onto the radio. Their first and second albums have a lot of songs dealing with faith, a faith that isn’t religious but is mysterious, powerful, deeply personal, and heartbreakingly elusive. I feel like my own search for faith is mirrored in a lot of their lyrics. I also think that anyone could deeply identify with songs like “Sick Cycle Carousel” and “Somewhere In Between,” which are about being in an endless battle with yourself, or “Blind” and “Better Luck Next Time,” which I believe were written about the lead singer’s father leaving his family but could be applied to any broken or fading relationship. I can’t say I’ve followed Lifehouse over the past few years, but I still hope that someday I get to meet them. And tell them they are my soul mates. And possibly scare the hell out of them…. Hmm, maybe I’ll just “like” them on Facebook instead. Every relationship has to start somewhere.
It shouldn’t be hard to believe, shouldn’t be this difficult to breathe. The sky is falling and no one knows.
Most people are really surprised to hear I like Lifehouse. But that’s because all most people know of this band are their upbeat pop singles about love. However, I’ve been following this band from the beginning, and there’s a surprising amount of depth in the songs that never made it onto the radio. Their first and second albums have a lot of songs dealing with faith, a faith that isn’t religious but is mysterious, powerful, deeply personal, and heartbreakingly elusive. I feel like my own search for faith is mirrored in a lot of their lyrics. I also think that anyone could deeply identify with songs like “Sick Cycle Carousel” and “Somewhere In Between,” which are about being in an endless battle with yourself, or “Blind” and “Better Luck Next Time,” which I believe were written about the lead singer’s father leaving his family but could be applied to any broken or fading relationship. I can’t say I’ve followed Lifehouse over the past few years, but I still hope that someday I get to meet them. And tell them they are my soul mates. And possibly scare the hell out of them…. Hmm, maybe I’ll just “like” them on Facebook instead. Every relationship has to start somewhere.
